What is Caregiver Burden?
There is usually one family member who is the primary caregiver to a pet on hospice care. This responsibility can sometimes be overwhelming, especially as care becomes more intensive towards the end of life. This person is usually also the primary caregiver for the human family unit. They may need to balance a career, children, a spouse, other pets, and the pet on hospice care. Oftentimes, they suffer a poor quality of life and severe stress as these amazing people will put themselves last on their list of priorities.
The truly sad part about caregiver burden is that it can damage the human-animal bond. It is normal to even feel resentful or angry at your pet out of frustration, or to feel you want a “normal” life again. While these are normal feelings, it is also a sign that you need help! Please reach out for support. There are more support resources here: Help to Heal.
How can we help?
At Kindness in Motion Mobile Animal Hospital, we provide respite care for our hospice families. Respite care is temporary in-home care to a pet on hospice to provide relief for their usual caregiver. We will give medications, take care of hygiene, walk and assist with mobility if needed, and any other needs the pet may have. Many people are afraid to leave town or go to a family celebration because they have a pet on hospice care. We hope to alleviate caregiver burden and allow families to take a break or go out to a nice dinner without feeling worried about their pet.
We are currently building a team of volunteers for this service. Please contact us by call or text at (479) 435-4606 if you would like to help us provide this service.
How can you help?
If you or a loved one are feeling overwhelmed, please reach out and communicate with your family and the hospice team. Often even the people closest to you may not realize how stressed you are. Be open and let them know that you need help or a break. Get out of the house and take part in a self-care activity. A massage, trip to the bookstore, yoga class, fishing trip, or a weekend getaway can be helpful in resetting our “emotional budgets” and avoiding burnout. Don’t let your own health take a backseat. You will be no good to your pet if you feel sick yourself. Take pleasure in the little things with your pet. Bask in the sun, watch him enjoy a favorite snack. Take care of yourself. Take care of your pet. Remember that you love one another, and that you are both doing the best you can.
Stress
In a perfect world we would have unlimited resources to care for our pets. We would have endless energy to care for them, we would have endless patience, funds and time. So because we want to be there for our pets in every way possible, caregivers are especially susceptible to stress and mental exhaustion. There are several types of stress commonly associated with caregiver burden or burnout.
Financial stress
As much as we hate it, finances do play a role in our care of our pets. Senior pets especially may need additional testing, medications, and equipment they didn’t need when they were younger.
Things you can do:
Shop second hand for equipment like dog ramps, harnesses, etc. Online local classified ads may have these items. Facebook marketplace is one such place I frequently see these items listed.
Ask your vet if there is a generic. Often if we do not carry something in stock we can also special order it or find it on our online store.
Find “reusable” rather than “disposable” items. A good example of this is incontinence pads. “Puppy pads” are convenient but thrown away while you can find reusable pads that you can wash and keep.
Use a human version of items. Again, incontinence pads are a good example. Often pet-specific items are higher priced. I found these Underpads on Amazon. They work great for my Lab who has incontinence issues.
Emotional stress
It is common among hospice pet owners to feel isolated. You may feel like you cannot leave the house so you can attend to your pet’s needs. You may feel frustrated or guilty for asking others for help. You may feel like a burden because of the intensity of your pet’s care. Some people feel guilty for considering euthanasia because you are so exhausted, you feel you can’t do this anymore. This is a normal feeling, but another sign that you need help.
Things you can do:
Connect with other sympathetic pet owners. Many others have gone through what you are going through. We are currently gathering a list of volunteers to help with respite care. A respite care volunteer will be able to talk with you, or even watch your pet while you go out to dinner, or see a movie. Please contact us at (479) 435-4606 if you are interested in joining, or need this service. Until we have a volunteer list, we must charge for this service.
Accept your emotions. They are not good or bad, they just are. Allow yourself to feel them, but not overwhelm you.
On the good days, try to “live in the moment” like your pet does. Enjoy the time with him without worrying about everything.
Mental stress
You may feel like there is always another decision to be made, or something to figure out. You may start to agonize over minor changes in your pet because you feel scared that this will the be thing that forces you to euthanize. You may feel helpless in wanting to care for your pet.
Things you can do:
Schedule a visit with your vet. We would love to be of assistance, but if you already have a vet, please talk to them. I know they want to help you.
Ask questions. Knowing what you are dealing with and what to expect will empower you to make decisions for your pet.
Prioritize. Decide what things are most important to you and your pet to address. Your vet can help you decide what is most urgent to address. Once you have a handle on one issue, then you can tackle another.
Try to let go of things you cannot control. Old age cannot be cured. It is a fact that we will die one day. Once the time comes, we can shift the focus from cure to comfort, enabling your pet to live his/her last days comfortable, happy and with a good quality of life. Eventually we all have to accept that there will come a time when the kindest thing to do is to let our pets go peacefully.
Physical exhaustion
Many pets become restless at night. They may pace endlessly, they may get “stuck” somewhere and need help. Often older pets will vocalize more at night also. Some pets also need physical assistance. This can be very tiring: you have to bend down farther for a small dog, and the weight of a large dog can cause back strain. The exhaustion can make things harder to deal with emotionally as well.
Things you can do:
Take opportunities to nap if you can. Even a short rest can help!
Find the right tool. The Help Em Up harness can make picking up your pet alot easier on both of you. Dog ramps also help when loading dogs into vehicles frequently.
Confine to a separate room at night. Although we don’t want to be away from our pet, it might save your sanity to take a break.